It’s not easy to prepare for a date even when you’re young, so much excitement and bustle around. But getting back to dating after a divorce is a lot harder.
Some say it takes up to several years to recover from the long-term relationships. Modern psychologists though believe that this ‘cooldown’ period lasts about six months. It is important to understand that the date is only a beginning, a personal test, and it doesn’t have to end with something serious.
Following the next steps should help you return to normal life comfortably. And remember that it’s never too late to get a wife!
1) Use online services
According to recent studies, nowadays more than a third of married couples meet online on services like Tinder. So the chances of finding someone special on the web are almost equal to those of meeting such person in real life. Just be sure to make your profile interesting to read, but not too detailed. Add more info about your sporting achievements, and less about past relationships.
2) Find yourself anew
Have you ever thought that you’d become a housewife in sweatpants, with tousled hair and no makeup? If you have, then stop it. Forget all the unpleasant moments associated with marriage. Try to remember the good old times when wearing dresses, walking on high heels and looking after yourself were a daily routine. Meet the old friends, watch a movie or two and get a hobby. Fall in love with yourself again. Pay more attention to your career if you want, but don’t focus on it too much so you could still have time for new relationships.
3) Don’t speak too much about the marriage
When on a date, try not to concentrate your companion’s attention on the times, when you were married. And there’s no need in describing how terrible your ex was. Firstly, you don’t want to remember it; secondly, the former relationships are not the best topic for discussion. And, thirdly, our brain has a tendency to alter the information from the past. The good times will remain pleasant in every detail, but the marriage that ended sadly will seem tragic from the very beginning, which is not true.
4) Do not involve children
If you have kids, don’t tell them that you met someone, at least for some time. Pay enough attention to the child (or children), but do not forget about yourself. Ask someone from your family to help out. If you finally decided to tell the kids, do it gradually. At first, have a chat with your child about a new acquaintance and the changes in your life, then answer all the child’s questions.
5) Do not compare your ex to others
During the years of marriage, we get used to our loved ones, their character traits and temperament. But we need to remember that all people are unique, and the next person you may choose will be different. The comparison of old and new love is inevitable, but do not dwell on it. Marriage changes you, your needs and what you expect from a person. Try to date someone new to you. If you always liked artists, meet with a lawyer. Spend time in different places like cafes or a gym, playing, walking, and enjoying life and the opportunities it offers you. Go for it!
