Nobody in this industry is perfect, me included. We all make mistakes and hopefully we learn from them. Case in point, last year Adria Rae tweeted about Emily Willis, accusing her of being involved in one of the infamous doggie videos.
Adria Rae eventually corrected her mistake by tweeting an apology, basically stating that she was sorry she didn’t check the validity of her statement before tweeting about something else someone had told her. I may not be Adria Rae’s biggest fan but I respect that she did the right thing and publicly apologized to Emily Willis.
I’m no stranger to mistakes either. Once someone told me that a company didn’t hire her to work on an idea she had because she was an overweight, black lesbian. Instead, they stole her idea and hired a pretty white girl instead.
Understandably I was mortified on her behalf. How could a company do this to her?
I felt like it was my duty to stand up for this poor girl and I went for that company. I read them the riot act. How could they do such a thing?!
See, here’s the thing about righteous indignation. Sometimes it’s misplaced because it’s based on a lie.
I never once questioned the story the girl had told me because who would lie about such a thing?
But she did. And the company in question and the girl they hired were innocent.
As it turns out, the project they were working on had begun long before the other girl had ever approached them with an admittedly similar idea.
This was a mistake on my part.
I believed something someone told me and without checking the facts, I acted out.
That makes a real ass hole. I admit that and now I spend some time here and there supporting the ventures of that model who got the blame. She doesn’t even know any of this went on behind the scenes. I just feel like I owe her my support.
And I do. It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t know that I called this company owner to curse them out for hiring her. What matters is that I know I did it. I know that I was wrong.
Another mistake I made that bothers me involves a performer named Allie. One day she gets her OnlyFans shut down. Now just prior to that, I had helped three performers who had their OnlyFans shut down. Each of the three swore up and down they did nothing wrong.
In the end, all three of those girls lied. After I went to my contact at OnlyFans and raised hell, it turned out all three of the girls got their account banned for trying to book privates through DMs. Not one, but all freaking three of them! #facepalm
Now the next day this other girl Allie comes along and gets her account suspended and without thinking or getting her story, I’m like well if you book privates you are going to get your account banned.
I didn’t know if this girl did escorting or what she did to get her OnlyFans account banned/suspended. I was just a jackass and said that without thinking. I took my frustration out from what had happened with the other three girls on Allie. Turns out she didn’t get her account banned because she did anything wrong, it was just an odd bug. And here I was accusing this poor girl of doing something illegal and saying it was probably her fault they shut her account down.
I did apologize to her and tried to explain myself, but in the end, it didn’t matter. I was short with her and hurt her feelings and it was something she never forget and still to this day hasn’t forgiven me.
But I was the one in the wrong.
I still do this day feel bad about that and now, no matter what, I never jump to conclusions or assume anything when some girl in the industry tells me something. I patiently let each and every girl I work with tell me their story, and then ASK them questions, not accuse them.
It was one of those hard-earned lessons in life. It’s a mistake I keep making and one I have to put a stop to and have made a real effort to do so.
It’s so easy to hear something and just jump to conclusions. It’s a lesson I’ve learned the hard way and I guess that’s really why I’m making this post tonight.
I want to take a moment to remind you that just because you hear some gossip doesn’t make it true.
In the past, I’ve not been good about checking the facts when I hear a story but I’m learning and now I make a real effort to shut up, LISTEN to what people are saying but not repeat it until I can say I know for sure this is legit.
I’ve also learned another lesson – admit when you are wrong. Own up to your mistake, and apologize. It doesn’t always work, like in the case with Allie. But it’s still the right thing to do. You owe the person an apology, they don’t owe you an acceptance.
I’d like to say that I’m growing and maturing. But nobody is perfect and no doubt I’ll make a mistake again. But I hope that this post will serve as a reminder to not be like me, to make sure that what you are repeating isn’t a lie.
It doesn’t matter what other people do or say. You need to be the bigger person and do the right thing.
As the saying goes … be the change you want to see.