Talking about sex toys with your partner might feel a bit awkward at first, but trust me, it can lead to some seriously fun and exciting discoveries in your relationship. But in truth, you’re about to dive into a world of pleasure that could bring you closer than ever.
Whether you’re the one who wants to bring a sexy gadget between the sheets or the one who fell into awkward silence when your partner asked you about it – this guide is for you.
Sex Toys In Relationships Are Helpers, Not Breakers
The stigma is that if one partner wants to try a sex toy, it means something is lacking in their sexual satisfaction. But it’s so profoundly normal for us to seek new experiences – that doesn’t make the old ones bad, right?
Trying new things, especially together, can be a bonding process and an intimacy boost you’ve been craving. It doesn’t even matter if it’s a solo toy or a couple toy – you can still enjoy those together or enjoy the positive effects a sex toy will have on your sexuality and libido.
7 Things To Discuss When Having The Big Sex Toy Talk
The key thing to remember is that you need to remain open and honest. You are partners first and foremost, and playing ball together is what you do best.
Why Do You Want to Introduce Toys?
Start with the big question – why are you interested in bringing sex toys into the mix? Is it about spicing things up, exploring new sensations, or maybe you’re curious about what else is out there?
Whatever the reason, it’s essential to be upfront and share your thoughts with your partner. This sets the tone for an honest and open dialogue, helping both of you feel more comfortable as you explore this new territory together.
Comfort Levels and Boundaries
Before you dive into the fun stuff, take a moment to talk about comfort zones and boundaries. What’s a definite “yes,” and what’s a “maybe later”?
Being clear about each other’s limits will ensure that your experience is enjoyable for both of you. Remember, consent is sexy, and respecting each other’s boundaries is a big part of building trust.
What Type of Toys Are You Interested In?
There’s a whole universe of sex toys out there, so it’s a good idea to discuss which ones catch your eye. Are you curious about vibrators, maybe a bit more adventurous, and thinking about something like BDSM gear?
Whatever you’re leaning toward, make sure you both are on the same page. Exploring options together can be a fun way to bond and build anticipation.
When and How to Use Them?
Timing and context are everything. Talk about when and how you’d like to incorporate toys into your play. Is it a special occasion thing, or do you want to make it a regular part of your routine?
Maybe you’re interested in using them during foreplay, or perhaps you’re curious about solo play while your partner watches. Whatever it is, make sure you’re both excited about the possibilities.
Concerns About Performance and Pleasure
Let’s be real – introducing toys can sometimes bring up insecurities about performance or pleasure. Maybe one of you worries that the other might prefer the toy over the real deal. Maybe one partner might feel objectified or attacked even – realistic female or male sex toys, for example, can make people feel very insecure.
It’s important to talk about these feelings openly. Reassure each other that toys are just tools to enhance your experience, not replace anyone. The goal is to bring more pleasure into your relationship, not create competition.
Maintenance and Cleanliness
It’s not the most glamorous topic, but it’s definitely essential – how will you keep your toys clean and in good condition? Discuss the basics of toy maintenance, like cleaning them after each use and storing them properly.
This is also an excellent time to talk about sharing toys and the importance of hygiene in keeping things safe and enjoyable for both of you.
Evaluate the Experience Together
After you’ve tried out your new toys, take some time to debrief. How did it go? What did you love? What could be improved?
Talking about your experiences will help you both understand what works and what doesn’t, and it’s a great way to keep the lines of communication open. Plus, it’s another chance to bond over something new and exciting.
Why Honesty And Trust Are Essential
All these conversations about toys are really about how you communicate, how much you trust each other, and how willing you are to explore new facets of your relationship.
It’s a chance to deepen your understanding of one another and make your connection even more potent. The more openly and honestly you discuss your desires and fears, the more likely these experiments will bring you joy and satisfaction.
Introducing Sex Toys In Your Relationship Is A Good Thing – Just Talk About It First
Adding sex toys to your intimate life isn’t just about spicing things up—it’s an opportunity to strengthen the emotional connection between you and your partner. From discussing your readiness to experimenting and evaluating the experience, each of these conversations helps you become closer, teaching you to understand better and respect each other’s desires and boundaries.
Be open, be honest, and don’t be afraid to laugh together. Remember, sex is not just about physical pleasure; it’s about emotional intimacy, trust, and the joy of shared discoveries. And who knows, this step might just open up a whole new world of exciting and pleasurable experiences for you both.
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